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Sooooo many guys have been there, having a crush on a straight friend, keeping it secret for as long as they could suffer to take it, and then one day, this window of opportunity appears where you think, for a moment, that maybe it could be happening, and the alcohol’s helped you take that step you were not sure you should be taking, but…. he’s there, being so friendly and CLOSE, so close, could it be that… that he’s like me? How many of us have misread someone that way?
It is really common for GLB teens to have feelings for their friends, but what do you do if you are gay and have a straight crush?
It is totally normal to have a crush whether or not the person you are crushing on is gay or straight. Unfortunately, the fact that this guy is straight, means that is is unlikely that things will turn out exactly as you hope. Of course, the same could be said if he was gay. Just because we like someone, doesn’t mean that they will like us back.
Unless you have full confirmation that that person feels the same way, it’s better off to forget them. Take time to do other things; don’t always have that one person on your mind. In the future, everyone is bound to get a love that they will hold onto forever.
I think it’s a situation every gay has to face once in his life. If he’s straight, the only thing you can do is… forget him. Yes, I know, easier said than done, but you have to stop hoping, and one day you’ll find out that you were able to forget your feelings for him. I’m sorry, my answer isn’t reassuring nor optimistic, but it’s true…
* End all contact:
First of all, as difficult as it may seem, you need to end all contact with your boyfriend. Delete his phone number from your cell phone (you can write it down in a piece of paper and put it away though), delete him from your friends list on facebook, take him off your skype account and chat.
* Don’t let him know you’re hurting:
Now this is important. Humans are sadistic, no matter how nice we all are. If your boyfriend knows you’re hurting, it would only make him emotionally stronger. Keep a straight face no matter how hurt you are. Don’t call him up crying, or tell him how much you miss him. His response will only make you hurt more.
Avoid him, and make him think you’re happy and managing just fine with your life.
* Stay away from his friends:
Try to stay away from his good friends. This can be difficult if you share a lot of common friends, but hanging out with your own friends is a better thing to do. Hanging out with his friends or your common friends will only bring back memories, or they may try to talk to you about the break up which can open old wounds of love. And moreover, you’ll end up getting regular updates of what he’s up to. And the worst of it all, he’ll know exactly how hurt you feel inside.
* Don’t be lonely:
As much as you would love sitting by yourself and staring at a book or scratching a piece a paper with mild fascination, remind yourself about the truth.
You’ve broken up. It’s over! Should you really be sulking in a corner while he may be meeting other girls or boys, or moving on with his life? All of us love to be by ourselves after a break up, but you really have to convince yourself to go out or get busy. Being lonely is actually the biggest hurdle in your road to recovery and getting over your ex boyfriend.
* Meet new people:
Catching up with guys who have a crush on you can be a lot of flirty fun. But sometimes, you also need to meet new people. By meeting friends of your friends, you’d find yourself feeling great and completely normal, just like you’ve always been for years. People only miss their ex when they’re lonely or unoccupied. By meeting new friends who don’t know about your break up status, you’d end up forgetting you’ve just broken up yourself.
You should avoid
- Texting, emailing, or calling all the time, especially, if you don’t get a response.
- Coming on to someone repeatedly after they have told you they aren’t interested.
- Constantly asking someone to hang out, even if he or she has said no.
- Feeling really depressed, and worthless if your crush doesn’t return your feelings.
- Not being able to be interested in anyone else.
If you find yourself unable to stop thinking about him, or you feel like you are becoming obsessed, you might want to give yourself a little space from him and keep busy with other friends or activities. Also try to talk to someone about how you are feeling. A friend, sibling, parent or other adult that you trust can sometimes really help put things in perspective!
keep this in mind
* No one is indespensable in the world.
* Nothing is permanent.
* Fortune favours the brave.
You are the most important person in this world so respect and value your life.
For any kind of moral support call Srishti 24×7 helpline: 09042462205, 09092282369. We are here for you dear friend.
– Team Srishti.
ref: GLB Teens discussion forum.